The Quiet Allure of Addiction
Throughout my life, I always felt as though I was different. At school I never really fit into social circles and had trouble maintaining friendships, I was never the smartest or the most athletic in my class, and I didn’t say much.
I felt like, no matter what I did, I would never fit in, as I was. When I looked in the mirror, I saw someone I wasn’t proud of. I saw someone quiet and awkward, destined to remain without friends or significant relationships for the rest of my life.
I knew something had to change if I didn’t want to feel lonely forever.
I became much more popular in high school. I was a partier and a fanatic, constantly skipping classes and sneaking out late to spend time with my friends and people I didn’t know, attracting the attention of everyone in a positive light, which is what I always wanted.
While it felt good at the moment, it was fentanyl addiction that got me to that point. As a high school kid who didn’t have a lot of extra cash, fentanyl was a cheap option among drugs that allowed me to steal a few dollars without being noticed.
As my fentanyl addiction grew worse, however, and my dependency grew to the point I was stealing, lying, and cheating my way through high school, I knew I wanted to quit.
How Addiction Makes You Its Prisoner
The thing about drug addiction is that once it has you shackled, it doesn’t allow you to break free easily.
I started attending counseling at my school, and after a few sessions, I confessed everything about my fentanyl addiction to my counselor, and how fentanyl withdrawal was too awful for me to quit on my own.
That was when my journey in rehab began.
What Does Fentanyl Treatment Look Like?
Being that the hardest part of fentanyl addiction is the withdrawal symptoms, that is the first thing the fentanyl rehab often focuses on when helping you quit.
I suffered from fevers and chills during my detox, as well as intense nausea and severe pain and cramping throughout my entire body. It wasn’t pleasant, and I just wanted it to be over; I knew that the way to make it stop was to relapse.
If I had been alone, that’s exactly what I would’ve done.
But the thing about rehab is that they want you to succeed in your sobriety journey; that is exactly what I needed at this point in my life. Someone that wanted me for who I was, my healthiest self, and not what I was like on fentanyl.
What Fentanyl Detox is Like
Fentanyl detox is about a week of symptoms that feel like a particularly nasty cold or the flu. The whole time I was sick, I just remember my thoughts being plagued with nothing but fentanyl. It would have been so easy to relapse and overdose if I hadn’t asked for help.While fentanyl withdrawal isn’t pleasant, not at all, it’s just a week in the face of forever. It was worth it for me. It’s worth it for you. Substance abuse is never worth continuing to ruin your life.
Is it Safe to Detox From Fentanyl Cold Turkey?
It wasn’t for me. Everyone’s sobriety journey is different, and it can be next to impossible to quit cold turkey alone for some people.
Fentanyl detox is an awful experience, and no one should have to face it alone. If quitting, it’s essential that you do what I failed to do so many times and ask for help.
New Beginnings
Quitting fentanyl and seeking fentanyl addiction treatment, or ending substance abuse in general, feels like restarting your life, really. Choosing to seek treatment ended up being one of the best decisions of my life, however, and I would not be the person I was today without it.
You’re worth more than the entertainment you can provide others. And that is something I wish someone had told me when was in school, struggling to keep my head afloat, just desperately wanting to be liked.
How Long is Rehab?
For me, rehab was a week of the withdrawal process and 45 days of inpatient care. It seemed the long term recovery was so daunting when I heard the stretch of time, and I thought it was entirely too long.
The counseling stage of rehab also ensured that it was clear to me that my recovery journey requires dedication not just during rehab, but for the rest of my life. I had to turn my life around entirely and ensure that relapse wasn’t an option.
How Do I Live Differently Now?
I’m an adult now, and my fentanyl addiction and withdrawal symptoms are years behind me, yet stick with me every day. Addiction isn’t something I got rid of, but rather something I have to actively work against.The most important thing to do is to take good care of your brain. Feed it nutrients and healthy substances, ensure you’re stimulating yourself with positive affirmations, and maintain an overall healthy lifestyle.
In order to avoid a relapse in my fentanyl addiction, I get up early to take cold showers and meditate. It ensures I start the day with a positive and clear head, and grounds me from any of the thoughts I had in the night. I am also mindful of what I eat, and I continue to seek counseling to ease anything on my mind.
Is Recovery Worth it?
I can say without a doubt recovery is the best thing I have ever done for myself. Fentanyl addiction is what ruled my life for years, and even now it’s something that is constantly on my mind and plaguing my thoughts. When I was enduring fentanyl withdrawal symptoms, and fentanyl detox, I was convinced there was no way this was worth it and that it would be easier to just keep using.
However, I can say with absolute certainty that without fentanyl, my life and my demeanor are 100% genuine, and I can be a better person for the people I love without worrying about whether I’m interesting or fun enough. Drugs allow me to live in a lie, but recovery has ensured that my life is filled with only my most honest self.
It’s Never Too Late
Rehabs are filled with people who want to help you get better, whether it’s professional help from doctors, other patients who have been through the same things as you, or counselors who know how to help you get back on your feet.Even if it seems like you’re alone, there are people to help you work through your opioid addiction, whether it’s fentanyl addiction or otherwise, like they did with me.
Seeking fentanyl addiction treatment near me can seem daunting and hopeless, but I am a ten times better person for it now, and I thank myself every day for making the decision to seek professional help.
Without addiction, you get to live life on your terms, and not on a drug’s terms. Which is something everyone deserves to do.